It's Not You, It's Instagram

You’ve had a good run. You’ve tried.

You’ve posted, planned, and even faked enjoying it a few times. 😅

But let’s be honest... You’re just not that into it.

And your analytics seem like the feeling might be mutual. 😩

It’s time to end the relationship, without burning the bridge.

I'll help you ditch the gram without ghosting your audience or sacrificing your visibility.

Free me from the algorithm!

Meet (cute) the Static 9 Grid:

A set of 9 intentional Instagram posts that act like a mini website for your profile. It keeps your page polished and strategic, shows people exactly who you are and what you do at a glance, and replaces the pressure to constantly create new content so you can focus on the platforms you actually love. 💖

You’re tired, you’re over it, and every time you go to post it feels like a drunk text you’re definitely gonna regret in the morning.

You just can’t figure out how to leave. 🫣

It's a bunch of offers you don’t sell anymore, hot takes that are so 2000 and late, and an opt-in you forgot you made.

Your grid is looking a lil' dusty. 😳

Your last post is from so long ago that people are genuinely wondering if you’re still in business.

You dipped without even a Sex and the City post-it note. 😂

When people find you, one of the first places they go is Instagram.
So… Which one describes your current status? 😜

Your current grid is a bit of a messy, complicated, situationship

Instagram's been gaslighting you...

While pushing trending audio, reels, and hooks that are anything but authentic for you

Saying it's ok to be yourself

But delivering reach that your mom doesn't even see

Promising access to billions of users and only

But 90% of the posts in your feed are paid ads

Swearing that you don't have to pay to grow

You're not crazy.

Let's get you sales without all the lies!

A Static Instagram 9 Grid Lets You:

Let your grid do the flirting + converting.

You get visibility + clients without having the app on your phone, logging in, posting, or putting in any effort

No more performing for a platform that doesn't know your worth. Put your time where you actually feel valued.

Break up with Instagram’s soul-sucking energy.

Your grid becomes the most recent version of “here’s exactly what I do and why I’m amazing” which will land you clients on autopilot.

Get a glow up that sells your stuff to your ideal clients

Here's the simple 2 step plan:

You get immediate access to my custom GPT Robot Buddies that help you plan your grid and write your captions.

The buddies are trained to walk you through exactly what I do so your grid ends up custom, strategic, and awesome.
Don’t use ChatGPT? No problem. I include simple prompts you can upload to Claude, Gemini, or your favorite AI tool.

Once you have your 9-post plan, you drop your assets into a Google Drive folder and book your design day.

You can write your captions while I work on your designs so everything stays efficient.

The whole process is designed to be Easy. Breezy. Beautiful. (like you… and CoverGirl)

1. We gather up your belongings + pack your bags

You book your design day, and I create:

9 beautifully designed, strategic graphics for your grid
Designed to match your brand, voice, and positioning
Delivered as Canva templates so you can update them anytime

All delivered by 2pm ET that same day, so you’re finally free to focus on the platforms that treat you right.

2. You make the break and officially move on

Other folks I've helped breakup with IG...

- Phoebe Gavin, Career Coach

I wanted a solution that would allow me to put my best foot forward on the grid without a ton of maintenance so I could focus on the content I loved creating.

I was worried about how we'd cram so much information into such a small space, but once I saw the first draft I knew it was going to work perfectly. It was kind of magical.

My Instagram had been dormant for a long time...

- Natalie Ash, Business Operations Consultant

so I’m thankful that I can feel confident but not feel the pressure of having to keep up with it all the time.

I love that it's a set it and forget it little mini website that gives people all the information that I need them to have. It looks professional and I feel great about sending people to my Instagram account now.

Social media is not a priority for me in my life or business...

- Kiri Rawson, Playful Empowerment Coach

I had formal stuff about what my ideal customer wanted and who she was and what I was gonna do, but she was able to take that information and turn it into something fun and exciting and that attracted people to it and wasn't all stuffy.

When I saw the graphics and I saw the pictures she picked out of my nine grid, I was like, “That's brilliant! That's exactly what I wanted!”

Deanna was able to really capture the spirit of my brand.

- Lara Buelow, That Moxie Life

This is just so fun!!! And I'm like finally getting my message across in a way that's sweet and funny!

I really feel like working with Deanna even in such a short period of time has really shifted my perspective and felt impactful in a way that I have been looking for for a very long time.

Deanna's work has made me love myself more...

- Mara Sievers, Pilates Encyclopedia

So for me, being able to focus on blog posts or just good quality content and not even having to work on Instagram is just a huge weight off my back.

And to my surprise, I still get new followers. There didn’t seem to be any reduction in how many new followers I get every week or every month. Which is exciting!

I'm not an influencer...

She has fabulous ideas, is open to feedback, and is great at communicating efficiently as projects develop. She's fun and brings a playful yet professional presence to everything we've worked on together.

Her work keeps me consistent with creating content and brand assets to use with clients and in my marketing.”

- Raina Willick, Leadership Coach

"Deanna is amazing at capturing the spirit of my brand...

- Laura Rees, Brand Strategist

She's a level above the type of design professionals who just make things "look nice." Plus, she's just so much fun to work with and be around. I look forward to meetings with her!

Everything she touches makes my business look more legit. I never have to put out any marketing materials I'm not proud to show off.”

“Deanna brings smart thinking to everything she does.

Your Instagram Break Up Package

One beautifully designed collage-style Instagram grid
Sliced into 9 polished posts
Delivered as editable Canva templates so you can tweak anytime
Strategy powered by my 📲 Static 9 Grid Planning Robot Buddy
Caption drafts generated with help from my ✏️ Caption Robot Buddy
(Prompts included for ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini, and other AI tools.)
Video walkthroughs showing you how to use your new lil' Buddies 🤖

$500 or 2 Payments of $250 USD

A clean, simple, strategic goodbye to the platform that stopped treating you right.

I'm ready to ditch this loser!

Hey, I'm dd. Your breakup wingwoman!

I’ve had a static 9 grid since Fall of 2022. I'm still in love and it’s still going strong. 💪

I’ve swapped a few offers and updated some graphics, but this is the healthiest relationship I’ve had with social media ever!

I’m still getting new followers, new clients, and more podcast invites even though I don’t even have the app on my phone anymore! 🤯

This isn’t just about never posting again, even though that part is definitely swoonworthy. 💞

It’s also about getting clear + strategic so your IG is a mini website getting you business while you focus on the platforms that actually treat you right. 💋

Wanna see the receipts?

Afraid if you dump IG no one will find you or love you ever again? 🥺 I hear you, but...

I don't think you need to worry, and I've watched enough Bravo shows to know to bring the receipts.

I log in maybe once or twice a week from my computer like a boomer and connect with people!

Your grid is gonna be playing the field for you + you'll still get love. 🫶

Admit it, you're ready to move on

$500 or 2 Payments of $250 USD

You're 2 simple steps away from being able to move on with your life sans the stress

I'm ready to ditch this loser!

One beautifully designed collage-style Instagram grid
Sliced into 9 polished posts
Delivered as editable Canva templates so you can tweak anytime
Strategy powered by my 📲 Static 9 Grid Planning Robot Buddy
Caption drafts generated with help from my ✏️ Caption Robot Buddy
(Prompts included for ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini, and other AI tools.)
Video walkthroughs showing you how to use your new lil' Buddies 🤖

Not ready for a full on breakup?

Just as strategic and beautiful as a full Static 9 Grid, but designed to sit at the top of your profile while you keep sharing regular posts.

They’ll showcase who you are, what you do, and your best content.
Everything new you post stacks neatly underneath.

If you're happy, don't breakup... just get a glow up!

3 Pinned Posts is Exactly What I need!

Book a 3 Pinned Posts Design Day for just $350.

Frequently Asked Questions...

This offer is booked in two stages. First the strategy + asset collection, then the design day. You can book your design day once your strategy is nailed down and your assets are dropped in a Google Drive folder for me to start. The more responsive you are, the faster we get it on the books!

How soon can I book my day?

Nope! All the work is asynchronous, and my workflow is so dialed in that your strategy and asset collection is already done before you even book your day!. So when your day arrives I’ll just work my little booty off and you’ll get your finished designs by 2pm et on your design day!

Do I have to be available on my day?

How many revisions do I get?

And not to brag, but most clients LOVE their designs right out of the gate.
These are the kinds of emails I get from clients...

This package includes no revision rounds, which is how I keep the price so low.
BUT… everything I deliver is fully editable.

You’ll get:
• a fully editable Canva templates
• video walkthroughs
• easy DIY control anytime you want a refresh

If there's an actual error on my end, I’ll absolutely fix it.
And if you ever want me to make changes or create something new for you, the Mini Design Day above is your go-to.

Not at all. The Robot Buddies walk you through planning your grid and drafting captions step by step.

If you don’t use ChatGPT, prompts are included so you can use the system with Claude, Gemini, or other AI tools.

Do I need to know how to use AI really well?

You totally can. That’s where the Mini Design Day comes in!

Mini Design Days start are usually $250 or $500 and can be purchased after the Instagram Break Up Package as an add-on.

It’s perfect for things like:
• Strategy and Feedback from me personally

• Captions for your grid posts

• Carousel posts
(10 graphics to sprinkle throughout your grid)

• A 9-grid refresh
For when your offers evolve or you want a fresh vibe

• 3 Pinned Posts
These are awesome for launches, special events, or making yours a 12 grid

• Revisions or tweaks
If you want me to make changes instead of DIY-ing in Canva

Start your project today and we can easily add these on if ya need anything!

What if I want more support, carousels, or updates later?

That’s totally fair! I would never judge you! 😉 Some people do a full grid and still show up in stories or on reels. Some people still want to post to their grid regularly, so in that case you’d just purchase the 3 pinned posts as a mini-design day, which includes strategy, design, captions, and templates.