Give Yourself A Confidence Boost

"Give yourself a confidence boost" is the topic of Episode 6 Imperfect Party podcast hosted by Deanna Seymour. In this image, our expert guest Kate Herford is leaning against a table wearing glasses and a cool leopard print scarf.

Have you ever decided to do something, and then your head got in the way and talked you out of taking action? 

You got nervous, then you started to question whether or not you should, so you just decided to just forget the whole idea? 

Spoiler Alert: That’s your lack of confidence hijacking your plans lady!

Today I’m chatting with Kate Herford. She’s gonna walk us through her 5 Step Process for facing those feelings head on and working through them. You can’t change this stuff from the outside, you have to search inward. Man! I’m telling you now. This is good stuff.

Oh, and fair warning: You’re gonna wanna buy a cute journal after reading this post.

The 5 Steps to Boost your Confidence:

1.) What are you doing when your lack of confidence appears?

When you’re doing something and your lack of confidence stops you in your tracks. What are you doing? What are you tending towards doing rather than doing the thing you’re avoiding?

2.) What are your emotions around that?

What’s your posture like? Are you nervous? Are you stressed? Happy? Sad? Are you distracted, or thinking about doing something else? Check in with your body language and your posture. What is your energy like? Kate asks us to really tune into what’s going on with our overall vibe when this lack of confidence pops up for us.

3.) What are your thoughts or memories associated with it?

It really comes down to the stories that you tell yourself. Those can come from childhood. They can be as simple as a look, a moment, or a passing comment from your past that you’re replaying. The moment that you’re hesitating to take action, you want to start looking for the pattern of stories that in those instances are keeping you from taking action. The good news is, you can re-write the story.

It’s an uncomfortable deep dive into the past sometimes. You have to uncover the story that’s making you not take action. You have to figure out where it comes from, so you can re-write it for the future.

4.) Focus on who you’re serving.

Ask yourself:
“Who will benefit if I follow through?”
“What will they miss out on if I don’t?
“What would the outcomes be if you just took imperfect action now?”

We’re in business to help people. A Lot of times on social media, we don’t get instant feedback from people. Facebook lurkers are everywhere. They’re seeing your content, but they don’t necessarily engage with it. 

Have you ever posted something and got no likes, no comments, just crickets? Then a couple months later someone will tell you how important it was to them. And you’re like, “WTH? I felt like a total loser, and you loved it?!?” Think about it, have you ever loved something but not taken the time to double tap or comment? I know I have. The point is, you really don’t know how your message resonates with anyone. But if you’re not putting it out there, absolutely no one will get the value.

5.) Write a letter to the person who would benefit from the outcome. Sign and date it.

I love this one so much! It really makes you focus on what it is you’re helping them with. When you sign and date it, you can look back and see how far you’ve come. If you stay committed to working through these five questions every time your lack of confidence starts to pop up,  you can track a pattern with the dates and the thoughts. You can spot the things that you need to work on because they’ll create a pattern. If something keeps popping up for you, you can find someone who can help you really work through it.

You can also start to develop more confidence by looking back at your journey and seeing how far you’ve come.

Your next step:

Go grab Kate’s worksheet here. Really promise yourself that if this pops up for you, you’re going to commit to working through the 5 questions to get to the bottom of it. Cool?

Oh, and get treat yo self to a new journal, if that’s the kinda thing that gets you excited.

More from Kate Herford…

We also talk about how to balance mom and business life. Did I mention Kate has FIVE kids? Yeah, so she know what she’s talking about in that arena. We also chat about imposter syndrome and what can happen if you just choose to ignore your lack of confidence and never do the work. Oh, and we talk about the coolest party she’s ever been to, it involves the Berlin wall coming down and a front row view of Pink Floyd. Sounds pretty epic to me. So push play on the episode above to get all the deets. And don’t forget to check out more from Kate!

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