Trigger Warning: Breastfeeding, Formula, and Mom Struggles…
I didn’t breastfeed my daughter.
Well, I tried for about 4 weeks, and I hated every second of it. It kicked up some serious anxiety I have and was making me miserable.
There was one time when she was screaming, I was crying, and I looked at Matt and said, “I f*cking hate this!” And he was like, “Then why don’t you stop!?” 🥺
But I didn’t. Not until she had some serious allergies and my pediatrician and I discussed that it would be better for my mental health to switch to formula.
I felt so much shame around it. Like I didn’t care about my baby or something.
I took this self-portrait and wrote a blog about it called “Suck it” (leave it to me to hide big emotions with a well-timed pun.)
But I still carried a lot of shame around about it.
So when I was headed to the hospital to have my son I was just going to pretend to be on board with breastfeeding and have some formula waiting for us when we got home. (sneaky sneaky)
Lisa was the morning nurse the day after I gave birth. She was helping me get him latched and struck up a conversation.
“Do you have any other kids?” she asked.
“Yup, I have a 3-year-old daughter at home.”
“Did you breastfeed her?”
“I did for a while, but I hated every second of it.”
The truth just slipped right out of my mouth. Maybe it was the pain meds. 🤷♀️ So much for faking it.
“Then what are we doing?” she asked.
I confessed my entire plan to her with tears in my eyes.
She stood up and headed towards the door. She turned back to me and asked, “Similac or Enfamil?”
It was seriously one of the top moments in my life where I felt truly supported. And it was from a nurse randomly assigned to my room that morning.
She wasn’t judging me, or trying to convince me, or help me. She just listened to me and helped me get what I needed.
With Ruby I always felt like I “should” breastfeed. But with Jack, especially after that moment with Lisa, I gave myself permission to do exactly what I wanted.
Looking back, I feel like I missed a lot in those first 4 weeks of Ruby’s life while I was trying so desperately to do what I was supposed to.
With Jack I didn’t have that pressure. I got to enjoy my time with him right from the start. Even if I was doing it “wrong.”
But it felt pretty freaking right to me.
I mean… you’ve seen how punk rock I was swimming in that dirty ass lake. Even I feel pressure to conform.
It’s hard not to sometimes.
So when the people are telling you how much content you should be making to grow your business, it’s hard to stand up and say, “Nah, I’m gonna do it this way instead.”
So I’ve come up with a really cool new offer that’s still being worked out. But it’s going to be me and you on zoom for an hour coming up with YOUR content map.
Not some map that’s mass produced telling everyone to do the same thing.
We’re gonna dive into what you love doing + what you have the time and space for and come up with a realistic plan for you to make consistent content without crying like me those first 4 weeks back in 2016.
You know I love pricing transparency, so it’s gonna be $500 which could be applied to a custom project with me if you’d like some help implementing the plan.
If you’re interested, hit reply and let’s chat about it.
PS… this email was written last year as part of my storytelling launch of my community. I didn’t use it at the time because of the formula shortage that was going on… but dang, I thought it was still worth sharing. And get ready for my new community to open in October. 🙌
PPS… if you do want support with breastfeeding, my client Kelly Kendall (below) is the tits! Just sayin.
When I worked with Kelly Kendall of The Balanced Boob last year, she was looking for some rules to follow over on Instagram. But she knew if we didn’t include enough color and options, she’d break her own rules. So I worked with her to create a color palette and a cohesive brand look that she could still have fun with in Canva. We did post templates, story templates, reels covers, and even some GIFs. If you’re struggling to stay consistent with your brand, let’s chat!
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