What Zack Morris + Online Business Owners Have in Common

A collage of Zack Morris playing a broom as a guitar with blue sunglasses on. There are 90s graphic elements around him and fanned out $100 bills and an alarm clock. The words "Eff that: breaking the rules of online business hosted by Deanna Seymour" are at the bottom.

Here’s the deal. I get this whole idea of not trading time for money. It sounds great. I don’t have to work, and I get money.

You know what else sounds great? Winning the lottery.

Or like that episode of Saved By the Bell when they were at the mall early to try to get U2 tickets and they found that bag of money just sitting there in the planter by the bench.

Remember that episode? Turns out they were on a hidden camera show. Actually, now that I’m talking about Zack Morris. His ass was ALWAYS trying to work the system and pull some get-rich-quick scheme. 

Sometimes I feel like that’s what the online business world is. Just a bunch of Zack Morris’s trying to turn a profit at someone else’s expense. 

There’s a YouTube series by Funny or Die called Zack Morris is Trash. 

The episodes are about 3 minutes long and they do a super quick recap of episodes where Zack was a total jerk. 👙🥔🧶💔🍝💰💵

Zack Morris Is Trash Episodes:

👙 The Time Zack Morris Sold Swimsuit Photos Of Underage Girls

🥔 The Time Zack Morris Lost His Teacher’s Car Investing In Potatoes

😩 The Time Zack Morris Used Slave Labor To Sell Friendship Bracelets

💔 The Time Zack Morris Valued A Red Jacket More Than Four Human Lives

🍝 The Time Zack Morris Stole School Supplies To Sell Spaghetti Sauce

💵 The Time Zack Morris Stole $5,000 From The Mafia To Scalp U2 Ticket

As you can see… Zack’s always trying to scheme and make a quick buck no matter who he hurts in the process. And yet, he somehow manages to look cool to the kids watching the show.

I mean, I kinda remember thinking he was a jerk, but it was always kind of in a loveable way, right? But I was also like 8 and probably didn’t know any better. 

As an adult looking back I’m like, “Yeah, he was straight trash.” 

GIF of zack morris turning around raising his eyebrows and shrugging.

And that’s kind of how I feel now looking back on my first year or so in the online business world. The people who have the top podcasts seem so loveable and like they are just like us.

A small town girl who got a three hundred dollar camera off craigslist. Dang. That could totally be me. 

But just like Zach Morris trying to get Lisa to sacrifice her sleep to make friendship bracelets so he could turn a big profit. They’re trash.

You know that trending sound from a while back. “Just as I suspected… TRASH.” 

The idea that you get to work less and still make the most is weird to me.

That time I worked for an agency…😩

I worked for an agency owner when I first started making graphics. I got paid $1500 a month to make all the Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest graphics for her clients.

When I took the job she said it’d be around 600 graphics a month. It was definitely more than 600 to begin with, and then she kept adding clients, and the number of graphics I was making kept going up. But the amount she was paying me wasn’t going up.

Interesting. 🤔

Then she started wanting the images faster and faster. She’d sign on a new client and want me to whip up some templates to present to them within 24 hours. SAY WHAT!?!

By the end I was creating 1,365 graphics for 32 different clients including designing custom templates for new clients and revamping ones for older clients. And when I approached her about it, I got this email:

I appreciate the conversation we had yesterday and am grateful for your candidness around your feelings regarding workload, compensation and commitment to our company. The growth of our agency is on an upward spiral especially as we step into Q4. We require support and consultants that are able to grow with us during this time.

That being said, we will no longer be needing your support effective as of tomorrow.


Now I know that this person might be especially jerky, but really, if you want to make money as an agency owner you have to charge a price and then pay the people who are doing the work less than that price. Right? Isn’t that how it works?

Then you get to keep the rest because you’re the owner. 🤑

This person was on Instagram always talking about freedom and scaling, and going on vacations in her airstream camper.

But the thing I don’t get is why does she think she gets to live that life while all her workers are at home doing all the work for less money?

It’s bizarre to me. And admittedly has created the lens through which I think of agencies. And I know there are probably agencies out there who pay their people a fair wage. 

But I think there’s a lot that don’t. And I just think it’s because in the online business world we’re almost made to feel like chumps if we decide to actually trade time for money.

Like we’re not smart enough to figure out how to get paid for doing nothing. 

Let’s break down the scheme…😬

I mean, quite simply, I could just charge someone $1000 for a social media package and then pay someone on Fiverr to make the stuff. 

These are real numbers I just found: 20 graphics for $100; 18 captions for $40; 180 hashtags $65

So I spend $205 dollars to get just anything to post for my client (because I don’t actually care about them as humans either) and then I get to keep almost $800.

Right? I mean, I KNOW how I could pull some Zack Morris shit and make money doing nothing.

Create a group program but pay someone to run it for me. 

Sell a course that acts like it’ll be a solution for everyone and not give a shit about anyone’s actual results or return on investment.

Right? We all know how we could make money while being a narcissist piece of trash like Zack. 🗑

So how can you make money and still feel like the person you were before you stepped into this online business world?

My guess is that you went to work and earned a paycheck. 

What if your business was just your new job. And you were ok with working to make money? 🤷‍♀️

Would that be ok with you? Because I think a lot of people in the online business space are wasting a ton of time, money, and resources trying to figure out how to make money without having to work for it. 

When if you just started working, you’d just make money doing something that you love. 

I’m assuming that you’re starting a business doing something that you love. It’s ok if you want to do that thing (which will indeed take up some of your time) and get paid for it.

(Then you have a business, not some Zack Morris get-rich-quick scheme.) 😎

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